Sometimes I don’t know what I’m feeling or why I’m feeling it, but I feel it when the moon is up and the sky is in a dark shade of purple and you’re walking under the trees like you would do on a nice summer morning, but it’s nighttime, and winter. But I look up, and see it all there, the black trees with their millions of arms in curly shapes against the dark, the purple sky, and the moon, and I feel it.
Intense. Like 5 shots of Jagermeister-Redbull at the same time. Like a sudden injection of adrenaline, like a first kiss, like make up sex.
This energy enters inside of me like a bomb and expands through all my body. Like an electric shock, it goes from the stomach to my fingertips. And I can’t control it. I need to do something with it, so I run. I run for 40 minutes, and I feel amazing. My body has released so many endorphins that I feel drugged.
Intense. Out of the nowhere, it’s so much that I can’t control it. If I was with my best friend we would go to the top of the hill of our town and scream to the city lights; If I was with a lover we would bite each other with rage until our bodies would explode.
This energy makes my heart pump the cleanest oxygen to my brain. It inspires me, and I need to do something about it, so I write.
And here I am. Here you have me. All of me, my truth. I’m here wanting to share what I have to offer. Cause I have so much, enough for all of you. Can’t you feel it? Can’t you feel it through my words? Can you feel the intensity? It’s all here, in me.
There are moments in your life that suck your energy. And then, there’s this moment that gives you everything your soul needs. It renovates you. Recycles the garbage you collected inside of you for some time and awakes the person hiding behind it. I’m back, I’m present, I’m more myself than ever.
And I’m still looking up, to the trees against the dark. I wish I could paint it all for you, I wish with a painting you could feel what I feel looking up right now. I wish I could paint you feelings, and I wish you would understand them, so you could tell me exactly what they are and what they mean; because I can’t tell, sometimes.
This feeling comes often in different ways. Sometimes it’s a movie, or a song. Sometimes it’s five people in a car listening to the same music, and being connected that way, same vibrations, same feelings just for 3:42 minutes. Isn’t that nice? Sometimes it’s the nature, a view, a forest, mountains, lakes, trees.
Sometimes it’s the moon, sometimes it’s a person, or the shadow of a person. Sometimes it’s a memory, and mostly, is with you.